This Charlotte couple reunited after 20+ years and rediscovering themselves

“I was doing everything to get a husband, but I was doing nothing to get me. I had to fall in love with myself,” Ayanna Redden said during a candid discussion with QCity Metro.

“I believe that is the reason why I got reconnected with the love of my life,” she said.

In this edition of QCity Bride, Ayanna Redden, 43, and her fiancé Jody Childress, 51, shared the narrative of how their path to finding one another began with each of them trekking a path to finding themselves first.

Responses have been edited for clarity and brevity.

Becoming a couple

Ayanna: Jody and I first met 22 years ago in our hometown, Wilmington, Delaware, through his sister. The first time I laid eyes on Jody was in his senior year of high school during a fashion show that he was modeling in. I never forgot his smile. I was 12 years old.

Years passed. I never saw Jody again. Then, one day, I was working on a job site with Jody’s sister. I was 21 years old at the time. I figured that I was old enough to act on my heart’s desire, so I took the opportunity to shoot my shot.

God told me then that Jody was my husband. But it was the typical “right person…wrong time” situation. We dated for about a year and a half and mutually decided to part ways. 

Trying again

Ayanna: Though we stayed connected through social media, Jody and I thought that the intimate relationship that we once shared was a closed chapter in our lives.

Admittedly, I was on a quest to find love. What I found is that when I gave up on finding love, I found love within me. Jody, too, was at a place where he began to focus on himself. Then, one day, after more than 21 years of maintaining a cordial relationship with Jody, God placed him in my spirit. God distinctly alerted me that Jody was single again. So, I reached out to Jody on social media. Indeed, he was, in fact, single. 

When things like this happen, you can’t help but question whether you are really hearing from God. So, while I was not truly doubtful, there was that little quiet voice of wonder and nervousness about whether this was truly God’s timing. The very next day, a song that was special to me back when Jody and I were dating (“Love” by Destiny’s Child) played on the radio. I knew it was a sign from God of what He was about to do in our lives. Hearing that song after all these years brought back all of the emotions and stirred up the love that I had deep down inside of me for Jody. I began to experience feelings that had been suppressed for two decades. 

When I shared my heart with Jody, he rushed back to me. We both realized that we had spent the last 20+ years looking for each other in the arms of other people. The following weekend, Jody drove from Wilmington, Del., to visit me in Charlotte. We embraced one another as if no time had passed since our last embrace. We knew in our hearts that being together was God’s plan for us all along. 

Making the move

Ayanna: We prayed about God bringing Jody to Charlotte. We agreed that once Jody found employment, he would relocate here. On Valentine’s Day weekend, 2024, we had already planned on seeing each other. This was one month after Jody’s initial visit to Charlotte.

Jody loved it here, and it just so happens that he is a die-hard Carolina Panthers fan. A friend referred Jody for an interview, and he was able to take it virtually, and then he was hired immediately. From there, Jody booked the moving truck and moved to Charlotte the following weekend. 

Upon his arrival, I took Jody and the friends who came along to help him move out for a ride to show them the city. Along the way, we stopped at a local restaurant to grab a bite to eat… so I thought. As we were sitting in the restaurant, Jody walked up to the DJ booth and grabbed the microphone. I had NO idea what was going on, but whatever it was, I wanted to preserve the moment. So, I started to record him. Jody called me up to stand with him at the DJ booth and began to profess his love for me. He dropped down, kneeling on one knee.

Looking deeply into my eyes, Jody said, “I want you to be my wife.” I lost it. But of course, I gathered myself quickly and screamed to the heavens, “YES! YES! YES!!!”

The right time

Jody: I was at an awkward point in my life when Ayanna and I first connected. We were both in our twenties at that time.

Personally, it was one of the lowest points in my life. Even though I was done with ‘street life,’ my focus was on reconnecting to society and the community as a whole. I was finalizing a 3-year sentence at the Plummer Center, which provides structured programming to help men transition from prison back into the community. So, I was consumed with putting in the work. 

Even though Ayanna would come to visit me at Plummer Center, when I was released, things changed. My mind was not into all the things that we had talked about when I was incarcerated. We had talked about marriage. We talked about our faith. We prayed together, read the bible together, but our relationship still went left because my focus was on reestablishing myself. The timing just was not right for me and Ayanna.  Our relationship ended. I went on with my life, and she went on with hers.  

I got involved with other women and relationships, but none of those lasted any great length of time. I even got married, but that marriage did not last any more than two years or so. I found myself asking God, “Who did I hurt?” In every relationship that I got into, I gave all of myself, but those relationships never lasted. 

I was giving all of myself to these women, but no one was giving themselves to me. So, when I received an inbox from Ayanna sharing her feelings for me, the first thing I said to myself was, “Oh my God… it was you!” Everything that I was trying to give to everybody else didn’t work because I was supposed to be giving myself to Ayanna.

The next day, I was thanking God. I broke down and started crying. I started crying because when a person tries to give so much of themselves, and you are constantly going through a mess… you start to question yourself. You start to wonder who you are. You start to wonder, ‘Where am I going with this?’ To hear Ayanna profess her love for me was everything!

I didn’t waste any time getting to her to fully give myself to her as God had proposed for us all of this time.

Thoughts on the (upcoming) big day

Ayanna: To have a day centered around the love that God has allowed us to experience in this lifetime and to be able to celebrate our love with family and friends is what excites me as a bride.

This is not only a dream come true but the fulfillment of a promise from God 22 years ago. Jody and I have been given a chance to solidify our bond by becoming husband and wife. I will carry the last name of the love of my life with honor and respect.

When we both stopped looking for love, we discovered that it was never lost. We found it two decades ago. True love never dies. For me, that’s breathtaking.

Looking back

Ayanna: I gave myself the love that I was looking to receive from others first. I realized one hard truth in dating, that you truly do attract what you are.

I attracted broken, wounded people because I myself was broken and wounded. Once I realized that, I did the work. At 43 years old, I began going to therapy and challenging myself to visit those broken areas in my life with the pure intention of healing them. Then I no longer did things to find a companion, I did them to find wholeness within myself. Once I truly fell deeply in love with myself, I attracted someone who had the capability to do the same. To love me wholeheartedly.

My advice is to do the work not just to get the love that you yearn for from another but to possess it inside. In the meantime, live in the moment. Enjoy the journey. Know how valuable you are and be ok with walking away from someone who doesn’t. Know that what’s truly for you will not pass you by but will arrive right on time. It won’t take as long as you think once you’re ready to trust God and do the work on yourself.

Looking ahead

Jody: You can’t stop doing what you did in the beginning. A lot of people think that it stops when you get married, but that’s really when it all begins.

Stay that same person. Keep loving. Keep having fun. Keep talking. Keep going out to adventure. Respect God and be together. Every day I try to figure out what I can do to make Ayanna smile. My desire is to be her peace. 

Engagement shoot details

Hair: Ayanna Redden, Resilience Hair Studio, follow on IG @resilience_hair_studioclt 

Barber: Shy, Imperial Grooming Lounge, @shy_daruggedchild 

Makeup: Sparkle Scott, @beatzbyspark 

Photography: Cameron Currant, Shot by Seven 777  @shotbyseven777   

Videography: Tyrone Redden, Jr., @whoyouneedtocall 

Row Boy Clothing: @row_boyclothingand_oil 

The post This Charlotte couple reunited after 20+ years and rediscovering themselves appeared first on QCity Metro.